Voice dialogue - making friends with all the parts of you (especially the ones you don't like!)

Voice Dialogue is a way of working that I use all the time in my sessions. It’s a non-pathological modality where we talk to the different parts of ourselves to help uncover conflicting thoughts, behaviours and emotions. This enables you to create a more balanced awareness of yourself and express yourself more freely, rather than behaving in an automatic, habitual or unconscious fashion.


It’s a great way to improve your relationships with others, increase your self-knowledge, and help rediscover lost skills and talents.

The origins of Voice Dialogue (also called Parts work)


Created in the 1970s by psychologists Hal and Sidra Stone, Voice Dialogue is similar to IFS (Internal Family Systems), a powerful evidence-based model of psychotherapy.

The theory behind Voice Dialogue is that we’re made up of many parts or ‘selves’. These various selves coexist within us, and each part has its own beliefs, characteristics, rules, and behaviours. They each contribute to our survival, social skills and overall well-being and help determine our thoughts, behaviours and relationships with others.

When we over-identify with some parts and reject others, we create imbalances and blind spots in how we behave, think and act with ourselves and others.

Using Voice Dialogue within a therapy session


If you’re looking to make changes and shifts in yourself and function better in relationships, it's helpful to increase your self-awareness by looking at what’s behind the imbalances and blind spots. We can do this by talking to each part and discovering the roles each plays in protecting you as an individual.

Voice Dialogue is useful when you feel that you don't understand parts of yourself or why you do certain things or act in a certain way. It helps you understand the different parts by talking with each and getting to know them better. You get to objectively hear those different voices or selves, what they want and need, how they developed, etc. You can then better understand each and make conscious choices that honour every part of you.

In a session we start with the  ‘Aware Ego’ or the central self, before moving on to each of the other parts of you in turn. Then I invite you to physically change your position for each part, as this aids in the separation and objectification of each. We also often use an everyday object to represent the part - like a cushion or a crystal. For example, the inner child self may want to hold a blanket or a toy, the inner critic self might prefer to stand, whilst the angry self could pace around the room. Each may bring changes in your energy, your voice levels and patterns, and your state of awareness. You can also use the different positions to identify each and see how they relate to each other.

Once you’ve had a conversation with each part, we return to your ‘Aware Ego’ before ending the session. This helps anchor the work you’ve done and gives us a chance to summarise what’s happened before you leave the session.

As a therapist, I love Voice Dialogue!

I love Voice Dialogue because it’s alive and active. As a therapist, I come from a place of non-judgement, exploration and interest, accepting of all. It’s not about discovering what’s wrong but rather exploring what is. I’m there to help you accept all parts of you and ensure each self can clarify its views and give as much information as possible to help facilitate this.

As you’re physically moving between parts, the session is memorable, fun and embodied. We’re opening up new possibilities for ways of being and can find more empathy for others because what we judge in the world is generally an expression of ourselves in you that has been shut down or rejected over time.

There’s no agenda and it’s not about trying to change selves, get rid of certain ones, or help them grow up or be more sensible. We all have positive and negative aspects within us, and change, growth, and healing will naturally occur when all parts of self are honoured.

Voice Dialogue can be a really fun way of working that opens up a world of possibility as you discover more parts of yourself. It also helps you express yourself better and change how you interact and judge the world and yourself whilst also opening how to allow vulnerability within your relationships in a more conscious way.

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