Is division of housework fair in your relationship? Intro to the Fair Play Game!

Housework and the Fair Play game

Are you playing fair in your relationship? How about with the housework and family life? Fair play isn’t always a phrase that springs to mind when it comes to running a home and looking after the children. Because when it comes to housework, organising the house and managing the kids, it’s often women who are still shouldering the bulk of the responsibility.

Even though we live in the 21st Century, couples frequently default back to outdated unspoken narratives when it comes to dividing out the household chores. And that imbalance can cause both individual partners to feel stressed and divided.

Fair division of housework is an ongoing issue for many couples

The problem is there’s always been no other alternative. Although opinions are changing and couples are sharing more, they can only default to how they perceived things growing up. Very often Mum did the housework, and dad relaxed after a hard day at work!

And this is causing issues for many couples. It creates an imbalance in the relationship and often causes resentment, arguments and stress. Because it’s not just about the physical workload and time-consuming tasks - it also affects your mental and emotional wellbeing.

Fair Play by Eve Rodsky

I've recently discovered Eve Rodsky’s book ‘Fair Play’ where she introduces a fresh approach to this old problem. She’s encouraging couples to change the narrative, by dividing up household tasks fairly, based on your needs as a couple.

‘Fair Play’ identifies the 100 main tasks in any relationship and then divides those tasks fairly (not necessarily equally) so that both parties contribute their fair share.

Part "how-to" guide for couples, part modern relationship manifesto, Fair Play dives into helping you both establish values and standards, reclaim who you were before housework took over, playing fair and establishing what tasks are (and aren’t!) necessary. It provides you with an innovative system and a refreshing view on both housework and relationships - and how we can all make them work better.

What happened when I implemented Fair Play in my relationship

My partner and I are practising with the system - each week we discuss who will hold the cards for each area of housework and home life. It's based on what we want to do and many of the cards for us aren't needed as we don't struggle in that area ( we both empty bins and recycle and leaving it to just one of us would make life more complex).

What is working nicely is knowing that one of us is responsible for something that was getting left undone (general tidying up in the lounge, is one example).

Neither of us is achieving all the tasks we aimed for - but it's helpful to see that it's both of us falling short of our intentions (because we are both busy) and learning what we might need to let go of even trying to achieve.)

It’s more than a housework organising system

The ‘Fair Play’ book helps you create better household systems to minimise arguments around housework and parenting whilst also establishing fair rules to help set you and your partner up for success. It enables you to divide up household tasks in a fun, insightful and gratifying way. It enables you to establish each other’s strengths, work together and build a stronger, better relationship as a result.

But it’s more than a book on housework - it also gives you the means to find yourself again. It helps you develop the skills and passions that keep you happy and vibrant whilst also reawakening the person you were before domesticity took over. And that can be really exciting  - one of the cards is about planning something romantic - something many couples forget to include when life is so busy all the time.

If you’d like to read more about Eve Rodsky’s book ‘Fair Play’ or want to grab yourself a copy, head over to https://www.fairplaylife.com/.