Can your meditation app help you have a better sex life? (Spoiler Alert! - Yes It Can!)

Sex and mindfulness

Better Sex Through Mindfulness

Author Lori Brotto is a pioneer for the use of mindfulness to help address sexual difficulties. Through her various studies, she has helped numerous women address sexual difficulties implement and use mindfulness to develop fuller and more satisfying sex lives.

By being present in the moment and using non-judgmental awareness, she has helped thousands of women discover how to be in the here and now and not to be distracted by negative thoughts and external distractions. 

In her book ‘Better Sex Through Mindfulness’ she shares the experiences of women who have taken part in her research, and offers easy, effective exercises women can do on their own.

**Case study - Barbara**

Brotto uses case studies to help illustrate her research. Take the case study for Barbara. Barbara took her dwindling motivation for sex as a sign that her relationship was doomed, and she’d often end relationships at that point.

By developing her mindfulness practice, Barbara began to notice that she had a wandering mind during sex. Her attention would be drawn to sounds in the room or thoughts about the next day, and she’d become disengaged sexually. Barbara realised she had a propensity to get bored easily and that this difficulty sustaining attention affected many aspects of her life.

Did Barbara’s low level of motivation for sex mean she has a sexual dysfunction? Probably not. But her inattention to sexual stimuli blocks her pleasure response. By learning more mindfulness, Barbara learned to observe distracting thoughts as passing events of the mind. She found it helpful to label her thoughts as ‘wandering mind’, and instead of paying attention to the specific thoughts, she noticed that wandering mind tended to set in as the novelty of her sexual experiences faded.

She then began using her mindfulness practice to experiment in bringing her attention back to physical sensations. With practice, Barbara was able to redirect her attention back to the physical feelings she was experiencing. She observed that arousal was not a static ‘on’ or ‘off’ phenomenon but rather a multitude of different continually changing sensations. As she paid closer attention to the feelings, her attention to them increased, as did her pleasure and enjoyment of sex. Barbara realised that her experience of sexual pleasure was far more dependent on her level of attention than on the notion of pre-existing chemistry between her and a partner. She was thrilled that learning to cultivate attention was under her control, and she took great pleasure in feeling sensations and sex that she had not felt before.

The app that can help you get started on your mindfulness journey

So how can you get started using mindfulness and enjoying a more sexual experience? It may surprise you to know that there’s an app that can help with just that! The Ferly app has helped over 15,000 women discover how to have a more pleasurable, confident and healthy sex life.

This app comes with a 7-day trial period - after that, you need to pay a small monthly fee to continue using it. So how does it help? It gives you access to guided meditation sessions, personalised programmes and featured stories etc., all designed to help you get more in touch with your sexuality and explore what pleasure means to you. You can find out more about the Ferly app and how it can help here. and you can find out more about Lori Brotto’s book "Better Sex Through Mindfulness" here.

If you would like help with recovering your libido I work with both couples and individuals to help you deepen and improve both sex and relationships. So if you’d like to discuss your options for getting additional help and support, do reach out - you can contact me here.

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